I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
