Sry I called you an 8
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
