What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
