He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
