i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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