At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
