I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
