He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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