When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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