Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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