I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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