using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
