I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
