no you cant smoke seaweed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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