I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
