Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize