So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
