I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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