She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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