No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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