singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The power of my boobs compel you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize