Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
