He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
