I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
