i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
