is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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