Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my being single is dangerous.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
