the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's the barista slut.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
