I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
