my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
