i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
