Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Mom said you looked used
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
