we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize