Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize