But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
