Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
