i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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