haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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