a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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