When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
