try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
