Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
