oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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