Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
NoShamevember. You game?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
