i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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