Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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