If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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