I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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