Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
