It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wanna go halves on a baby?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
