you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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