Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
