i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
