Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
