it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
