I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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