We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
