Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
