Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
