it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
