I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
