All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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