im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
