OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think I sprained my soul last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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