cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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