you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
