try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
