I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Randomize
