ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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