we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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