what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
even my farts smell like vagina
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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