i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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