Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
