if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
