I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
