I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
