I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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