After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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