she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
