just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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